Validation is the key factor to maintain personal relationships. But it’s also one of the most neglected factors. Nowadays, it’s much easier for us to act like we don’t give a damn. We are too busy to notice other’s stress or simply won’t bother.
“Its nothing to get upset about”
“Don’t be a Baby”
“But it was just a small thing”
We frequently hear these kinds of phrases in our life. In fact, we also use them for others. Thus we are at both the giving and receiving end of these phrases. This is quite common in our society as we lack a basic understanding of Validation.
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, Validation can be defined as:
As defined above, Validation is another name of acknowledgment and acceptance. It’s an affirmation that the person is heard and whatever he is feeling is valid. His emotions, feelings, and thoughts do matter.
If you hurt somebody then you don’t get to determine that they are too sensitive or its nothing. It simply means that you hurt them. Apologize and try to fix it. Similarly, if someone is feeling down, we don’t need to tell them that they are just being broody over such a small thing. Accept what they are feeling and try to help them. If you can’t do that then just remain quiet instead of making them feel worse about themselves.
Another type of validation is self-validation. Unfortunately, we don’t understand this concept as well. Its a form of self-acceptance and self-love. If you are feeling angry then don’t tag it as overreaction or oversensitive. Be gentle towards yourselves. You are not too sensitive. We need to acknowledge our own emotions. If someones hurt you then say so. The majority of people in an attempt to keep peace remain quiet and bottle everything inside themselves. Eventually, everything becomes too much to handle and they burst out in a fit of rage or start hating themselves thinking they are unworthy. This eventually leads to depression and mental disorders which gradually affect their personal and professional lives.
We need to understand and fulfill our emotional needs. So, next time someone hurts you, or makes you upset, tell them. If they apologize then good but if they don’t then consider them as emotionally unintelligent who are unable to process your emotions.
Be more empathetic towards others. If someone tells you that they are upset, don’t make them feel worse by undermining their problems or stating your own problems which are supposedly much bigger. It’s not about you. It’s about them. Pay attention to their needs. Hear them out, acknowledge them, and try to help them. If that’s not possible then just stay quiet and offer a listening ear.
Do share your experiences in comments.