Today let’s talk about “Energy Vampires”. It is another type of personality that is a part of our life but we often fail to notice them. If you know someone who is just seeking you out to dump all their issues upon, then they are certainly classified as “Energy Vampire”. Talking to such kind of people will leave you drained and void of energy.
Energy Vampires don’t care much about your mental health or busy schedule. They demand your attention and time. If you are unavailable, they will throw a fit and make you feel worse about yourself. They might sometimes ask you about your well-being but will immediately shift the conversation towards themselves.
The energy vampires can be spotted how they keep complaining about every single aspect of their life. They will appear to be jumping from one crisis to another and will remain stuck in problems. No matter how much you try to help them, they won’t take your advice and will keep saying that nothing is working.
Your advice will fall on deaf ears and you will be their unpaid psychotherapist once again when another minor inconvenience occurs. The cycle of talk, complain and repeat is never-ending. It will suck your energy leaving your mental health on the decline. You will feel emotionally drained after talking to them.
Here are some tips to deal with the energy vampires:
1: Cut Them Out:
If it is a person who can be easily avoided, for example, a friend or a distant family member then just cut them out of your life. There is no need to be apologetic or feel guilty about it. You are doing this for your own mental well-being. They will find another person but your mental health is the priority here.
2: Talk To Them:
If they are the person you want to keep in your life or you simply can’t get rid of them then talking is the best option. Some energy vampires don’t realize how they are affecting you and don’t actually wish to harm you. If you explain to them how much they are draining you, they might understand and would change their behavior.
3: Developing Boundaries:
If cutting them out is not an option and they are not understanding your stance then enforce hard boundaries on your part. Whenever they call, tell them you are busy, tired, or sick. Try to limit the contact through messaging instead of long phone conversations. If calls are unavoidable then make it a maximum of 5 minutes and excuse yourself.
4: Stop Being The Unpaid Therapist:
It is entirely possible that you are known for being a “Great adviser” or a “Good Listener”. You are always there to provide a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. You might also have given them solid advice at some point in time which, unfortunately, worked for them. Since then they started bringing all kinds of problems to you so that you can give a solution. You might be too nice to not help but seriously this needs to STOP. Tell them you don’t know and someone else might help them better.
5: Offend them:
If all else fails, this is the last resort. Do something that is going to offend them and they would stop talking to you. This may sound like an extreme solution but it is a last resort. You are not a therapist and certainly not qualified for dealing with all the drama of other’s life. Do whatever you can and get rid of them before you start going crazy due to all the stress.
Remember that nothing else is more important than your own well-being. You need to be healthy mentally and physically to function normally in your life. If you take care of yourselves only then you can take care of others. Develop balance in your relationships. Beware of being “the giving one” all the time as it will lead to resentment and self-hatred. I am not telling you to be selfish and stop caring at all. All I am saying is to stop being self-sacrificial all the time and start caring about yourselves.
“Energy vampires prey on others because they are in pain, and their behavior is a disguised cry for help. However, the important thing to remember is that you are not responsible for resolving their issues. While you can offer help to an energy vampire, it is ultimately their responsibility to sort out their struggles.”― Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing